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The Salt To Walk On

by Madde

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1.
2.
NERVE 03:04
Gather round ye' girls and gays My bitches and I bring stories your way Now open up you filthy varmint locked and loaded in the cock-pit I'll give you something to live for That male gaze, you're so amazed Don't make my existence another chore This shit barely pays I'm gonna make the whole world mine Now please tell me one more time How much I don't belong And how much you hate my fucking songs I taste a little bit of blame and keep my god damn maiden name High time I've felt like this before, you bet your ass I want some more Like the snot out my nose, I'll get them running, god damn she's stunning I got some nerve, I got some nerve! You would love it if I crawled away Eating dog shit and razor blades Jokes on you, I'm here to devour Kiss my ring if you wanna taste power I can't stand the way you talk to me I hate the way you count to three Your immature ass acts out of spite then has the nerve to call me late at night? Mom said to stay inside, dad said to look alive Both my eyes are made of glass and I'd break them both to kick your ass Sorry mom, sorry dad, I found my own way to bite I don't need a god damn role model, I need me a fucking knife I taste a little bit of blame and keep my god damn maiden name High time I've felt like this before, you bet your ass I want some more Like the snot out my nose, I'll get them running, god damn she's stunning I got some nerve, I got some nerve!
3.
In Between 05:06
I can feel my mouth turning into salt Stuck in a room for days but it's all my fault I go out to come back in I can't sleep, paranoia has skin It's the in-between that kills me It's the in-between that kills me From miles away and living alone Feeling more like an intruder each time come home I have been swallowed by psyches bow crawled for the light, lay me low It's the in-between that kills me It's the in-between that kills me I am a toothbrush that fell on the dirt-covered floor Spit on me, dust me off, and use me some more Exhaust my soul to every corner I find You might do the same, fools gold in your mind Are you with me? Can you hear me? Is this the right thing? Can I foresee? It's the in-between that kills me It's the in-between that kills me
4.
She 04:03
It's so heavy She's so mean I've grown tired even in my dreams It's so cold She's dark inside I feel too old not even twenty-five I can see you Making them beg for it All the black and all the blue You're so cruel and confident Was it worth the time? Am I here to stay? There would be nothing at all if she had her way Kiss me slow it's me to you I bestow Do not move you might be a needle but I'm a groove It's so easy to say "What's the point" When I know it's true Who wins the fight I took a drag before I rest Eat my words I do my best I'm not ready to go To your familiar home You may win the day but not the rest I roam I succumbed and am captivated Damp in the weight of you I am a sailor and you're my tattoo Kiss me slow it's me to you I bestow Do not move you might be a needle but I'm a groove I succumbed and am captivated Damp in the weight of you I am a sailor and you're my tattoo
5.
Nothings gonna matter til' everything's in place Nothings gonna happen if not this way Nothings gonna count until I'm through What's there to do, the air has been tainted too Each sound louder than the last one, kiss me goodbye My fingers curl, all teeth collide These thoughts are mistaken, I'm in disguise I see it all with these television eyes If I stay in one place, I begin to mold If it's saved for tomorrow, I will be too old If I lose count of footsteps, I will fall If I must do anything, I must do it all Each sound louder than the last one, kiss me goodbye My fingers curl, all teeth collide These thoughts are mistaken, I'm in disguise I see it all with these television eyes Don't touch me, let me go Don't touch me, let me go Don't touch me, let me go Don't touch me, let me go
6.
You'll do anything for clout Even if it's against your praised words When you come to tour in my town You put us down Us girls, we run this shit and you treat us just like we're throwing fits Fuck you and your preying eyes You hide behind an image of lies Say your words but your actions don't stick Coward, you make me sick You made a mistake, don't underestimate me You're a pale eyelid, I'm a UV ray Stand with the victims of every assault I will tell you first hand, it's not your fault Your survival is not a shield of accountability You will face your actions with your own two feet You not doing anyone favors It's quite far from cute You're not the only one hurting One strike to get a taste of my boot Say your words but your actions don't stick Coward, you make me sick Back the fuck up, get off my ass You're the perfect salt to walk on, lacerate my feet on glass
7.
Month 10, I cut and then I bleed I live out the space between my teeth The weather outside is much beyond heavy I just drink some water and go to sleep early Give me Halloween But don’t hold me back I was left to clean With British racing green I was left to clean With British racing green I’m sick of a place I don’t want to leave I promise I will pay you back for the tea I like the 2 doors in a house-made just for three I want all the love that you want to give to me Wading in gutters, each sound louder than the last Single-speed, all I need, please hold the overcast Standing outside, years on the qui vive Doing what's best is sometimes an uncertain thing Give me Halloween But don’t hold me back I was left to clean With British racing green I was left to clean With British racing green Burnt down match factory rose back up beyond its size I never lost control to what I utilize The hour is the shiver in my femur to my spine The tomorrow is the pupil in my dilated eye Give me Halloween But don’t hold me back I was left to clean With British racing green I was left to clean With British racing green
8.
ily 04:02
What is it about you that makes me happy What is it about you that makes me true What is it about you, I wanna know What do you want me to show you What is it about you that makes me happy What is it about you that turns grey skies blue Well, my baby, there's one thing that I know for sure, and darling It's cause I know, I love you Can you feel the air up north here What is it with the flutter inside To be honest, it's kind of gross but pretty damn easy to diagnose I am ready, I got my shoes on and they're tied What is it about you that makes me happy What is it about you that turns grey skies blue Well, my baby, there's one thing that I know for sure, and darling It's cause I know, I love you I have been searching for years for someone to ride with All that searching stopped the moment I met you Every stretch of road feels like flying Oh, I know you turn each day new What is it about you that makes me happy What is it about you that turns grey skies blue Well, my baby, there's one thing that I know for sure, and darling It's cause I know, I love you It's cause I know, I love you
9.
Decay Yrself 03:42
I do not run I do not hide I've seen my blisters from the outside Move your body in the sun to dry to let your dead skin die Decay yourself I'm a brat leading the back of a pack of rats Your guts will turn and decide as car and skull collide Your laugh is getting louder as you choke on seawater I will not wait on anyone, I am my own daughter Go on and take your aim, go on and choose your pick With daggers taken out, I'm sick, I'm sick I let go and carry the load, for the weight I sing my ode When all I states are dead flies, stuck in my teeth and there to memorize If there's no you there will be no god, bullets out, I won't be your gun When all you have left is all you are, what will you have left after they take it all Your laugh is getting louder as you choke on seawater I will not wait on anyone, I am my own daughter Go on and take your aim, go on and choose your pick With daggers taken out, I'm sick, I'm sick All skin burned to the third degree, I swore it was good for me You saw me, I tried, and then you buried me alive You cheater, you liar, you're not as good as your mama sold You coward, you fake, you were my biggest mistake I bite my tongue so I can breathe and cross my heart for the enemy You'll never hurt me again, will never let you in You can't hurt me anymore, you can't hurt me anymore You can't hurt me anymore, you can't hurt me anymore You wanna try me one more time? You can't hurt me anymore Your laugh is getting louder as you choke on seawater I will not wait on anyone, I am my own daughter Go on and take your aim, go on and choose your pick With daggers taken out, I'm sick, I'm sick Get out of my house, this is my house Now I want to hear what it sounds like
10.
You are a liar to me You are a scar to me You're the salt in the wound and the tear to the scab never met a person more selfish, I wish I had This is what you are to me I'm not sugar-coating anything You fucked up yet act so victimized You looked into my eyes and swore on your sister's life I gave you the benefit of the doubt Cause I get what you're all about I have no respect for you or anything you do Cause I will never ever know if you are telling the truth You will never be my enemy I can be your enemy Whatever makes you carry on I'm done No one is worth going down for I am not sorry for choosing myself I will not apologize For the dust you collect on your wealth Bleach the floor and lay here Taking back the power from my grief tower The switchblade in my cheek To sing myself to sleep I'm glad I have you Even if it hurts But every day I wake up And the pain gets worse I am worried Fuck, I hope you care Cause I am not sure fo my limit Of when I should or shouldn't be there I let my brain Lead the way But my heart is hooked up too A semi-automatic train You have given me the coldest grin And my dreams are thick again The weight is straining out my knees Why don't you, double dog dare me No one is worth going down for I am not sorry for choosing myself I will not apologize For what I keep under my belt Bleach the floor and lay here Taking back the power from my grief tower The switchblade in my cheek To sing myself to sleep I will eat my weight in glitter No one is worth going down for I am not sorry for choosing myself I will not apologize For the dust you collect on your wealth No one is worth going down for I am not sorry for choosing myself I will not apologize For what I keep under my belt Bleach the floor and lay here Taking back the power from my grief tower The switchblade in my cheek To sing myself to sleep
11.
CALVARY 03:13
LYRICS: I let thoughts come, I let them go I am tired of feeling my body decompose You can bet your ass I’m afraid But I’m not gonna give up today I swore I’d have to say goodbye I thought that was my last day alive Hurting myself won’t fix anything I’m gonna let the healing sting Because I will do the work Cheers to the Calvary I think I need you For a false sense of control I don’t want my tools to be weapons Let me let you go I’ll lead the end cause you lead the start I can feel you in my jaw and in my heart Hurting myself won’t fix anything I’m gonna let the healing sting Because I will do the work Cheers to the Calvary This is for love, I reject hate This is for loss, this is for the fate This is my life, this is my choice This is my body, this is my voice This is for love, I reject hate This is for loss, this is for the fate This is my life, this is my choice This is my body, this is my voice It’s a god damn war but hell I’m alive Mark my words, I don’t want to die Hurting myself won’t fix anything I’m gonna let the healing sting Because I will do the work I will do the work Cheers to the Calvary
12.
Another word being fed The memory of you always rings out in my head It's not the same when I hear your name I miss you, why wouldn't you stay There ain't no use in cryin' It feels like pain is the currency and I'm the one buying I wish there was something I could have done or said I can't hear you, will these words ever be read I am speaking from the side of my bed There's nothing left to be said Laugh with me one more time, something lets not be yet said The smile you struck always gets stuck in my head The stick n' poke you gave me but never got to complete you got me much more than just skin deep I don't wanna move on, I still don't believe Was that you talking that one day or was I imagining things? You took your own out of sight But did you see your name is up in lights There ain't no use in cryin' It feels like pain is the currency and I'm the one buying I wish there was something I could have done or said I can't hear you, will these words ever be read I am speaking from the side of my bed There's nothing left to be said I know you were there that one march night That coat you wore, hung up for everyone in sight We sat on the dirty floor eye to eye I can't begin to explain how bad I wanna ask you why I didn't say goodbye
13.
TRUST NO MAN 02:58
Swallowed up by psyches bow I am not afraid, lay me low Make your incision and bleed me out Did you hear me when I said no, I said no I am gonna burn a hole in the rug Face the gods I am my own son Holy and divine, severed wrists to the alter Face the cause, I am my own daughter Fear no man, fear no state Trust no man, bare no hate I trust no man, I fear no fate I trust no man, I bear no hate Something always felt wrong to me should have left that shit back in 2017 For the ache and the buzz in surrogate You can't stand when I advocate (coward) I trust myself and what I feel I have full faith that I will heal Don't get it twisted I am just dyslexic I am no skeptic, just a deathly anorexic I am gonna burn a hole in the rug Face the gods I am my own son Holy and divine, severed wrists to the alter Face the cause, I am my own daughter Fear no man, fear no state Trust no man, bare no hate I trust no man, I fear no fate I trust no man, I bear no hate You used my body, you used my love after all the grief, you still abused my trust I am gonna burn a hole in the rug Face the gods I am my own son Holy and divine, severed wrists to the alter Face the cause, I am my own daughter Fear no man, fear no state Trust no man, bare no hate I trust no man, I fear no fate I trust no man, I bear no hate
14.
I walk out at night The dark is its own ride One thing on my mind I'm not in the mood to die If I could cut the stars I could use the shards I might feel better by myself For now, I keep scissors in my belt You don't have the right How dare you I'm not anyone to observe Leave me to my own Stay away How dare you I'm not anyone to observe Leave me alone This is not an invitation This is just what I wear Why do you think this grants any permission To comment, shout, and stare? This is no invitation How dare you blame your inspiration If you say 'not all men' one more time I'm gonna fucking lose my mind You don't have the right How dare you I'm not anyone to observe Leave me to my own Stay away How dare you I'm not anyone to observe Leave me alone I am not sentimental I wish you thought this through Frankly, I'm quite temperamental Motherfucker, don't make this about you Stay away How dare you I'm not anyone to observe Leave me to my own You don't have the right How dare you I'm not anyone to observe Leave me alone If you touch me again, I will sever you hand

about

The Salt To Walk On is Madde's 3rd album
A walk through one's journey of grief, healing, and growth

credits

released April 8, 2022

Tracks 1-4, 6-9, 11-13 written by Madde Gruber
Tracks 5, 10, and 14 written by Madde Gruber and Josh Nimmo
Produced and mastered by Madde Gruber
Madde Gruber on vocals and synthesizer
Josh Nimmo and Maddi Gruber on bass
Madde Gruber and Josh Nimmo on guitar
Josh Nimmo, Justin Almazan, and Madde Gruber on drums

Recorded in Chico, California, Los Angeles, California, and Liverpool, England

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